I first became aware of monsters when I was a toddler. They have been messing with me ever since.
As a young boy I would conduct a circle check every night before bedtime, paying special attention to the closet and under the bed where monsters were known to hide.
Later, when I had kids of my own, I taught them all I knew about monster safety but I forgot to mention they could also hide in lakes.
There is one persistent legend that continues to lure millions of curiosity seekers to the misty highlands of Scotland – the watery home of the Loch Ness Monster.
It doesn’t matter whether Nessie really exists or not because she still pulls in about 25 million British pounds a year for the Scottish economy.
That’s pretty good for a non-existent monster. However, many other lesser-known lakes and lochs are also spooked by make believe demons and serpents of their own.
A country like Canada with so much fresh water could very easily be hiding some shy, imaginary monsters beneath the waves.
For example, about 140 million years ago a giant meteorite impact blasted a 700-foot deep hole in the bottom of Reindeer Lake in Saskatchewan.
It is said to be home to a ferocious beast that regularly pulls reindeer through the ice. Mythology, myth or legend – you decide.
Elsewhere, in the murky depths of Okanagan Lake, B.C. (812 feet) lurks the multi-humped Ogopogo. Its existence has been confirmed by thousands of eyewitness reports.
Some of the witnesses were seen wearing Ogopogo t-shirts and carrying ceramic serpents and mugs. Big pretend monsters can sometimes generate big, very real tourist dollars.
Lake Manitoba is home to Manipogo, which may be either Ogopogo’s first cousin, a monster sturgeon or possibly and least likely, a relic pod of prehistoric plesiosaurs.
Lake Winnipegosis hosts the Winnipogo while back here in Ontario, Lake Simcoe may be sheltering the legendary crypto-zoological creature, Igopogo.
The Simcoe monster is rumoured to be the prehistoric remnant of a bizarre, long-necked, dorsal-finned, dog-featured sea serpent.
No kidding. I once spent some time at Lake Simcoe but I don’t remember seeing anything like that. I’ll have to check the photos.
Human history is full of myths and monsters created by our own superstitions and misguided notions. Even as adults we often choose to believe the unbelievable.
The Scottish Tourist board knows this very well and it actively encourages more study, more talk and more attention paid to Nessie.
For the many people making a good living from her non-existence there’s no such thing as bad publicity for the Loch Ness Monster.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could invent our own horrible, imaginary beast to attract monster seeking tourists to Thunder Bay?
Lake Superior offers the perfect setting. The lake is huge and plunges to a respectable 1,300 feet. Anything could be hiding in a lake that size.
For example, at Presque Isle near Marquette, Mich. there have been several sightings of an unusual creature named Pressie.
Pressie is reported to be a 75-foot serpent with a horse’s head, a longish neck and a whale-like tail.
Native mythology refers to “Michipeshu” and underwater monsters that live in the deepest part of the lake where they stir up storms and cause misfortune.
There’s plenty of room in Lake Superior for another imaginary creature.
Let’s invent a hoax of our own and get into the monster business for ourselves.
In the meantime, even if you don’t believe in Nessie, Ogopogo or even Cookie Monster, it still doesn’t hurt to peek under the bed every now and then.
